Going through a divorce can be traumatic for many people. If you are feeling as though your marriage is no longer working, divorce might seem like the only solution. While ending a marriage can be the best solution for some couples, it's important that you take the steps necessary to salvage your marriage before calling it quits if you want to ensure that divorce is your last option.
Here are three things you should do before making the decision to end your marriage.
1. Communicate your needs with your partner.
Over the course of a marriage, it's possible for both partners to fall into a comfortable pattern of behavior that doesn't evolve and adapt, as the individuals in a couple grow. If your spouse is no longer meeting your needs within the marriage, it's important that you attempt to communicate openly and honestly with him or her prior to filing for a divorce.
According to experts, 65% of couples who divorce cite poor communication as a major factor, so working with your spouse to better communicate your needs to one another can help you salvage your marriage in the future.
2. Evaluate your own behavior before pointing fingers at your spouse.
When getting along with a spouse starts to become difficult, it can be tempting to place the blame on your spouse. While every couple must learn to overlook minor grievances over the course of a marriage, it's important that you take the time to do a personal inventory of your own contributions to arguments or disagreements.
By focusing on your own behaviors, which are completely within your power to change, you may be able to reduce the amount of conflict you experience at home. Making a conscious effort to avoid placing all the blame on your spouse can help you see your partner more clearly, and give you the ability to work through disagreements that could otherwise lead to divorce.
3. Ask your spouse to attend marriage counseling sessions.
It can sometimes be challenging for the individuals in a marriage to recognize how their behaviors are negatively affecting their relationship. Attending marriage counseling with your spouse gives you the opportunity to have an unbiased third party evaluate the condition of your marriage.
A therapist will be able to identify ways that you can work on improving how you and your spouse communicate and give you individual goals to work toward that will help improve the health of your relationship.
For more information, contact Tim Robbins Counseling or a similar organization.